My Basic 7-step Ritual Process

 Today, I received a question on how to call upon a spirit.  In this case, rather than explicitly tailor a full ritual to the spirit requested, I felt led to enumerate the simple process I have generally used to call upon spirits.  Afterward, I realized that I hadn't really covered this topic, and therefore- here are the seven points of advice that I feel are the most helpful for those embarking on spirit work. 

1.  Be open-minded.  Do not approach the spirit with fear or loathing; approach with respect and honesty.

2.  Do not use the ritual method in the Goetia. 

3.  Set a day for your ritual, and for three days prior, pray in the name of the spirit, telling it that you wish to call upon it at the day and hour you have set.

4.  At the ritual time, shield, ground, and meditate. Walk in a circle, clockwise, chanting the ENN of the spirit.  Gaze at the sigil of the spirit until it wavers and moves.  Say "I call to you,  (name of spirit), (name of spirit) come to me.  Of my own free will do I invoke you, and call you into me.  Speak to me and through me, (name of spirit), "  Repeat this until you feel the spirit arrive, then say "I welcome you, (spirit's name), please speak to me and through me."

5.  Then listen to what the spirit has to say and write it down.  Do not interrupt.  Tell it what you desire, and ask it if it is acceptable and something the spirit wishes to do.  Do not be afraid to ask it for options, or negotiate.

6.  Do NOT banish the spirit. It will leave of its own volition. 

7. Afterward, eat something, and consider the words of the spirit.  The rest is up to you.

And in a rather tight nutshell, that is the process that I have found most viable in my work.  I have been led to include some flourishes and fanfare as appropriate, of course, and the spirits do appreciate incense, candles, and gifts, as one does.

Also- you may not feel or see the presence of the spirit, but that doesn't mean it is not "monitoring" what you are doing.  The ritual may be successful all the same, or not.  And if  I may in no uncertain terms STRONGLY interject:  Please do not ask the spirits to help you win a fucking lottery or promise you will kill somebody for them as a sacrifice.  This may seem a no-brainer to most, but to all of the dumb-shit psychopaths and witch-hunter dickheads out there, here's your disclaimer.  

Anyhoo, that's all for today, folks.  Hope you enjoyed.  Thanks for dropping by, and as always, I truly hope your day is a pleasant one.

Merihim

 Just a short note to mention my experience with the spirit Merihim.  S. Connolly describes him as "The Prince of Pestilence," and V.K. Jehannum describes him as a "predatory entity who scours the earth for victims and specializes in the causation of suffering."  Pretty ominous, right? However, none of those kind of things interested me much.

Rather than seeking pestilence, I called upon Merihim to request a little-known service he offers; namely, freeing a practitioner (in this case, yours truly) from all vestiges of  influence of the Judeo-christian god, and the efforts of his followers to manipulate you.  Apparently, this is common, and those last remaining vestiges, the hooks left in you from childhood religious indoctrination, insidiously erode your magical progress and endeavors. 

I called upon him at noon, as he is diurnal.  He also appreciates intoxication, so I poured myself a generous libation prior.  Sitting at the kitchen table, I invoked the spirit.  His manifestation, his entry into my person, was dynamic.  It flooded into me with an electricity, quite different than most invocations, and was strongly present.

The spirit had a great sense of humor, and cracked hilarious jokes, one after another.  I do not remember any of them, but I remember sitting and laughing my ass off.  When I addressed him and made my request though, he became very serious, said "Of course!" and went to work right away.  When he had finished... whatever it was he did... I asked him what he would like me to do for him in return.  After cracking a couple of ribald jokes at my expense, he said, seriously, that all he required as sacrifice was an offering of two scrambled eggs with chopped onion.  I think I said something to the effect of  "Are you being serious?" and he assured me that he most certainly was, and that I should hop to it immediately.  

I went to the fridge and picked up an egg, which he promptly knocked out of my hand onto the floor, saying "Whoops!"  and laughing uproariously.  

I couldn't help but laugh as well, as I cleaned up smashed egg from the floor.  Then I scrambled him up some fantastic eggs, and per his instruction, set the plate out at the side of the house.  The next day, of course, the offering was gone.

All this to say (as I have before), in working with spirits, your mileage will vary immensely.  I have a feeling that if I had called upon him for, say, a baneful purpose, I may have seen a completely different side of him.  All the same, the working he performed in that short span of time was powerful, permanent, and effective, and I deeply appreciate him for doing so.

I hope you enjoyed this little anecdote and found the information useful, or at least entertaining.

Till the next time, au revoir, and I hope your day is a pleasant one. CX

Random Spiritual Experiences and Musings

 I have always been sensitive to the spiritual world, to the eerie and the eldritch.  When I was a child, presences would manifest themselves to me, in what I now realize was a ploy to feed upon my fear and emotion.  And afraid I was; the hours I was meant to be sleeping were occupied, much of the time, with paralyzed clutching of my blankets around my face, waiting for apparitions and strange sights to materialize about the room, or in the hall.  My mother said that I just possessed a stronger imagination than most,  but as the experiences have followed me into adulthood she was obviously incorrect on that count.  In all my childhood photos, I have dark circles under my eyes.

Spooky childhood encounters aside, I would like to discuss some inexplicable random things, and a couple items of interest which hopefully a reader has shared (and is willing to discuss.)

An interesting experience (which some Reddit users have also shared), is the experience of waking up with strange glowing writing on the walls of my room. The writings, which sometimes appear to be scrawled directly on the walls, and sometimes in a billboard-like manner with a frame, are written in a script which I cannot decipher.  I have tried numerous times to recreate them, and I cannot.  Sometimes the script is glowing red, sometimes it is green, and sometimes yellow.  There are spirals, and angles.  They remind me of the Canaanite or Phoenician alphabet in places, but seem more intricate.  They fade quickly as I come fully awake.  They do not feel hostile in nature.

Another item I have experienced is something I have termed "spirit mist," for lack of a better term.  When I am reciting an incantation or hymn to a spirit, especially when I'm outside or in a remote area, I see mists rising from the earth and moving in toward me. In one instance, I was out in the desert reciting an especially powerful hymn to Hekate, the mists arose and stood before me in human-like shapes, flowing and misty in the evening light.  One came very close to me, up to my face, and just seemed to be gazing at me wondering, like "what is this person?"  I didn't sense any malice, so I invited it to pass through me, and it did.  It felt cool, and dry, and the world turned gray while it was passing.  I have no idea what the mists are; they don't feel shivery like ghosts do.  As a side note-  the place that I was reciting the hymn was an abandoned mine, up on a small rise, with a tree-lined wash stretching away from it downhill through the valley.  In the midst of my Voces Magicae,  SOMETHING began crashing through the trees in the wash, coming directly toward me.  It sounded like a truck was smashing through them, but with no engine noise.  It was not windy either.  Nothing materialized, and the crashing stopped suddenly.  Off in the distance to the north,  there were thunderheads forming, sidelit by the setting sun, and at that moment they coalesced into the shape of a regal female human face.  My mind immediately went "Oh shit, it's Hekate!!"  And I held out my hands to her and just worshipped.  I don't even remember how the rest of the night went, but all of these events are still crystal clear to me.  And, so, spirit mist. Anyone?

And then there's moving during sleep paralysis.  I have not experienced seeing the "sleep paralysis demons," but I do experience the feeling.  When I am in that space between waking and sleeping, the groggy, dreamy in between, and the paralysis creeps in... I do something that I haven't heard many people do.  I make myself move, my arms and legs, and try to perform actions and pick stuff up etc.  I have minimal success in this, but I really concentrate and try.  On one occasion, I was taking a much-needed nap in my vehicle on a long trip, and when the paralysis set in, I managed to reach up and push the overhead map light to try and turn it on. It didn't turn on, or even make the familiar "click" noise, but when I woke fully up I tried it, and it worked.  Click, light came on.  No answers; but theoretically, sleep paralysis may just be another form of dream.  Why does it feel so... liminal, though?

Visitations and visions:  I have already discussed how Lord Amdusias introduced himself to me,  by physically knocking on an item in my room and and beckoning me out of the room to talk.  Most of these experiences happen at bedtime, when everyone in the house is sleeping; and thus far none of these experiences have woken anyone else in the house, even my light-sleeping wife.  One night, I was awakened by what I thought was my daughter grabbing my left leg and shaking it to awaken me. I turned meaning to say "What?" and there, with one hand on my leg and the other hand on my bedstand, was the skeletal figure of a woman. She was leaning in toward me, mouth closed, her clothes sort of blowing and a hood or bonnet on.  I have no idea who it was.  I think it may have expected me to be frightened, but I don't react that way to these things.  I began to address her, and she disappeared.  I have a notion that it may have been a manifestation of Santa Muerte, but not a clue why she came in that night, much less why she shook me awake just to leave. I really need to investigate that further (mental note).  Prior to invoking Lord Mammon, I had a vision of him at the foot of my bed, where he walked in through a portal which looked like a book opening.  He manifested as a small, about one foot tall, very thin, elf.  He walked so confidently and slowly, stopped and smiled at me, and then sauntered back through.  You know how Santa's elves are always portrayed as cute, funny little fellas? He was NOT like that.  He was competent, and he owned the space.  His face kind of reminded me of Harvey Keitel.  On reflection, I don't know how I know it was Lord Mammon, but I do.  Prior to invoking Lord Bael and initiating through his Qlipha,  he also manifested through a portal on the wall of my room.  The portal looked like a large glowing golden picture frame, and through it was the most beautiful, glowing medieval street. It looked like a Tarot card come to life, a rich carnival of color.  At the bottom of the frame was a gold automaton, which reminded me of Punch from the old Punch and Judy puppets.  The automaton had its back to me at first, but then turned to look at me. I asked who it was, and "B-A-A-L" spelled out behind it.  I wish I'd dived through the image into the land beyond, but it faded quickly.  Could you imagine?

And then there were a couple accidental evocations... Once, I was alone in the house, cleaning the bathroom.  I was watching a You-tube video on how to make delicious cinnamon rolls, and I blurted out loudly "THAT'S what I'll make for King Paimon!!!"  (Looking forward to offering them to him, that is).  Suddenly, the entire feeling in the house changed, and I became covered with chills. The hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood up.  Outside, all the neighborhood dogs began to howl in unison. Just insane.  I knew right away what was happening, and I felt very sheepish.  I took my gloves off, walked into the living room, and apologized profusely for  calling him, explained that I meant him no disrespect, and told him how grateful I was that he came but I did not mean to call him.  He was not upset, and took his leave.  I had never felt like a bigger asshole... UNTIL:  One night, I had gone to bed before the rest of the family since I needed to get up early the next morning.  As I lay there, I was praying and worshipping Lady Lilith, who I consider my true mother and who I love and adore.  I started reciting her enn over and over, lovingly, as a hymn to her.  I was not aware, at the time, that enns are calls, not prayers.  Not to be disrespectful, but they are kind of like a Bat-signal going up from the practitioner.  That is a clumsy analogy, but I am sure you understand the gist.  I was laying there with my eyes half closed, mumbling the enn, when suddenly she appeared beside the bed. And holy cow.  While my previous interactions with her had a warm and loving feel, this Lilith was very stern and very businesslike.  She stood before me strong like a warrior Queen, clothed in what appeared to be a Greek peplos and robe.  "Why have you called me?" she said in a beautiful, strong female voice.  Oh shit.  I apologized to her, and told her I did not mean to call her forth, that I was just praying to and worshipping her by repeating her enn.  I said, respectfully, that if she wanted to leave, I apologize again, but please feel free to (or something to that effect). She kind of shook her head and stepped closer to me. "Since you have me here, ask of me (REDACTED)."  She offered me a wonderful service, which I don't know if I am authorized to speak on here.  I did as she asked, gratefully.  Afterward, I really wasn't sure if I utilized the boon she offered correctly, but I was flustered and it was in the moment.  However, I believe things are working out well.

Invocation and possession-  The most interesting possession experience I've had was with Lord Raum.  I invoked him on the first day of a yet-unfinished pathworking, and his was the most bestial-feeling spirit that I have had enter me yet.  My head lowered, my breathing changed, and my throat made this weird low, purr/growl. My head moved side to side slowly, and my eyes squinted and glared.  I felt like some kind of carnivorous beast, surveying the landscape.  I will make a post about Lord Raum and cover this in further detail; but oddly enough, I believe that Lord Raum may have actually been a human on Earth in the far ancient past.  He appeared to me later as a young man dressed in Roman hunting garb, holding a spear.  But I still remember the feeling of him coming in, and how atavistic it felt.  

No doubt, dear reader, I will think of other items to cover after I have closed this chapter. I may cover it in edits, or start another post.  I hope you enjoyed reading about the random occult experiences of a suburban Everyman magician... and my I reiterate, I would love to hear yours as well.

Thank you for reading this far, and may your day be a pleasant one.

Introducing My Patron Demon: Lord Amdusias

 It is difficult to describe, to those who are not Magicians on the path, the immense amount of time our kind spend in magickal thought and exercise.  If I am not performing ritual or spellwork,  I am thinking about it.  Without (too much) hyperbole, it feels like nearly every waking moment is a walking meditation on one or more spiritual subjects.  Not that I feel like I'm spinning out of control in obsession, or allowing it to adversely affect my mundane life; but spiritual subjects are constantly on the periphery of my waking thoughts and often the subject of my dreams.  I am immersed, and experiences that might seem weird and creepy often feel commonplace to me. 

All that to segue into the subject of this post:  My initial experience with and acceptance of Lord Amdusias as my patron demon, and my recent re-dedication to him.  

I don't remember the date, but our first meeting was, I believe, in mid-2019 or late 2018.  I should have written down the particulars at the time, but the events are still as fresh in my mind as the nights they happened.

I am often visited by spirits in the night.  Some are welcome, and some are not.  Some are spirits I work with or have expressed a wish to work with;  and some are naughty buggery entities who wish to feed upon fear and other emotions.  These, I must say, go away scolded and disappointed more often than not, and some of the more persistent have been destroyed without mercy.  More often than not, these spirits are ghosts... and as a matter of fact, I was visited by two last night, which awoke me in a most unwelcome manner at four in the morning, and which I addressed patiently to good effect.  Sisters.  Interesting experience... the location I am visiting is rich with history.  But I digress- back to the account.

To set the stage- My bed is a large four-poster, and at the foot of my side of the bed stands a large piece of, let's say, musical equipment.  As I lay in the dark, I heard three knocks on the equipment.  I also sensed a presence immediately, and without even opening my eyes I lay there and grinned for a second, because I knew immediately it was a visitation, and a good one.  I don't know how I knew.  I opened my eyes and lifted my head toward the direction of the noise, and in the dim light coming from the open door I saw a tall, dark figure.  The figure appeared to be wearing a hooded cloak, and it beckoned me toward the door with its left hand before walking out.  

I cautiously got out of bed (so as not to wake my wife) and followed the spirit into the living room, where it was waiting for me.  I sat down on the edge of the divan, and pulled a chair up in front of me, as a courtesy for the spirit to sit and converse if it wished.  The spirit did not wish to sit, but instead stood before me and spoke.  His name was Amdusias, he said, and he wished to be my patron.  Being a cautious fellow, I requested that he display his sigil before me, and immediately the Goetic sigil of Amdusias glowed blue between us, lighting up from left to right as I remember.  We spoke a bit more, and I asked him if he would permit me a few days to come to a decision.  He said that was acceptable, and departed.  

The next day, I studied the literature on Lord Amdusias.  I was not familiar with the spirit at all, so it was an interesting learning experience for me.  I don't wish to bore the reader with details, but the old grimoires offer odd, tangential details about the spirit:  His avatar is a Unicorn.  He can make music play in empty rooms.  He can make trees bend, etc.  Of course, the best overview of the spirit (as usual) is offered by V.K. Jehannum on his wordpress blog: https://vkjehannum.wordpress.com/2016/09/09/amducius/ 

Thanks, V.K.  You are a Satanic treasure.  The next evening,  I performed a type of invocation, which I have termed "Drivin' with Satan."  While I am at work, driving from point (a) to point (b), I will invoke a spirit within myself in order to converse with them, or invite them to join me in the passenger seat.  Am I the only one who does this?  I wonder.  I would not recommend this to every practitioner, or with every spirit, as from time to time you'll have to pull over and de-immerse, so to speak.  In my conversation with Father Satan that evening, I asked him if he would recommend that I accept the offer of Lord Amdusias.  He was very enthusiastic about the idea.  I told him that I would invoke Lord Amdusias later, and tell him that I had accepted his offer.  "Why don't you tell him right now?" Said Lord Satan, "He is here with us."

That statement caught me a little off-guard, as I hadn't even considered, until that moment, that multiple spirits might be participating in or monitoring the interactions of other spirits with humans.  "Yes, of course!"  I invited Lord Amdusias to join us, and informed him of my intention to accept his offer in formal ritual.  After that,  both spirits took their leave.  As a side note- for some reason, the invoked energies of both spirits prompted a feeling of acute nausea within me, which I overcame.  Once again, the new experience caught me a little off guard.

A few days later, I dedicated myself to Lord Amdusias in formal ritual, accepting him as my patron Demon.  I sealed the dedication with an offering of blood.

Sadly, I did not interact with Lord Amdusias much after that.  I included him in my prayers of gratitude, and thought of him often, but never in ritual or offering.  It was not until Lord Azazel admonished me for this shortcoming, that I came before him again.  This is a deep failing on my part, and I have apologized greatly for this.

On January 28, in the desert under the full Wolf Moon, I approached Lord Amdusias in ritual and rededicated myself to him.  The experience was incredible, cold, the landscape lit bright white, and coyotes screaming and howling all around me.  What. The. Literal. Fuck.  I still get a chill thinking about it.  

Lord Amdusias appeared.  He did not appear to me as a unicorn or the previous hooded figure; this time, his appearance was monstrous.  His feet and hands were clawed and scaly, and his teeth were exposed, large and sharp.  His was the most archetypically "demonic" appearance of any spirit I had seen, and I loved it.  He placed his clawed hand on my shoulder, and I clasped it with my hand and leaned my head against it.  He spoke, briefly.

I am Amducius, your patron. 

I came to you and offered myself, and you accepted.

(Here he spoke of a personal matter, REDACTED)

I am your Patron, and will protect you and keep you.  Together we shall do great things.

Do not neglect daily prayers and offerings.  Make me an idol.  Blue candles are best; this incense is good. (The incense was sandlewood.)

I will bless you more than you can know. 

You must teach.

That is all for now.

Hail Lord Amdusias! Hail Patron!  

Thank you for your time, O Reader.  I hope that you have gained a bit of knowledge, or were at least entertained by the account.  Below is a picture of a "travel idol" I have dedicated to Lord Amdusias, which I created from polymer clay (mold it, cook it, it turns into hard plastic. Good stuff!)  In another chapter, I'll discuss idolatry in spiritual practice. Highly recommended.

So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good bye... And as always, I hope your day is a pleasant one.

Edit- I forgot to mention, in my description of the desert ritual, the importance of making sure your instruments are sharp.  I brought a shiny new Buck 119 hunting knife for the purpose, thinking that the factory would have the forethought to sharpen their products adequately prior to packaging. Sadly, I was wrong.  I spent way too much time essentially scratching myself with a blunt instrument to produce an adequate offering.  It was... unpleasant.  

DISCLAIMER:  I do not advocate self-harm in any form;  in fact, I am staunchly averse to any such practice.  However, I support HYGIENIC medical, religious and/or aesthetic practices which may involve safe, minimal blood loss, as long as the consenting individual's life or well-being is never in danger.  Under the same guidelines, I also support a modicum of "kink" in practice, if that is your thing.  I always sterilize my equipment and clean the incision/lance site thoroughly, antiseptic, band aids, the whole 9 yards.  I leave the reader's personal choices to the reader's discretion.

Travel Idol of Lord Amdusias. 
Hand-crafted of Sculpey™ by yours truly, with love.

 

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 7- Final)

 Monday, October 12, 2020.  The final invocation of Lord Azazel, the final day of this seven-week pathworking.  When I was preparing for the ritual, as usual, I did not know what to expect from the spirit.  For the last seven weeks, or eight if you consider the preliminary invocation, he had served as guide, mentor, half drill-sergeant and half-father figure to me.  He barked, and he comforted.  He held me to my word, and left no room for excuses;  Stern, yet kind.  I threw myself into the ritual as the day before, culminating with my astral body flaming like a torch, kneeling in the circle, calling, calling.  As always, his voice rang suddenly and without preamble into my consciousness.

Pick up the pencil and write.

I an here on the seventh day of our invocation.

You have done well.  (Here my head bowed, and my body flooded with shame.  All of my failings presented themselves to me nakedly, and I shook my head and frowned without saying anything.)  You HAVE!  (His voice took an encouraging tone, and I felt the sensation of an arm around my shoulder.)  

Be proud, you did not falter. You did slack off, but I expected that.  (here another feeling of comfort.)

I wish to reiterate the teachings I gave you concerning your role as Warrior/Magician/Priest.  Please be aware that there are those who will work against you, but we, the gods, will be on your sides, flanking you during such attacks.  You are chosen among many, so take that to heart. You will be great, and you will prevail.  It is written in the heavens.  Be strong, and know that we are here.

Is there anything more that is expected of me, from this point forward?

Yes, you need to keep up rituals, prayers, and worship.  Do not neglect those that have assisted, who have vouched for you.  Be their Patron as they have been yours.

Lord Azazel, the Patron you told me of during the last ritual. Can you tell me his name?

It is Amdusias.  

Thank you for telling me this.

You need to forge a relationship with him, and make his worship and practices a priority after this invocation is done.

I will. What would you like me to do for you, Lord Azazel, when the invocations are done?

Call upon me, make an altar unto me. Make an altar unto all the Gods that you work with. Offer unto them, call upon them for advice.

Lord Azazel, would you like me to make an offering of blood unto you now? (This I was ready to do, as feasance and to show respect.  Lord Azazel's reply was measured and thoughtful.)

No.  Not now, not in this situation.  If the situation calls for it, yes, but not now.  Your offerings are sufficient.

(Here my mind raced, as I knew I had a question to ask him, but could not suddenly remember what it was.  Lord Azazel recognized this.)

FOCUS! Get out of your head.  (I took a deep breath. Ah! that did it.)

Do you recommend I continue my Qliphothic initiation?

Yes, continue with your initiations into the Qliphoth.  The Circle of Bael is next. You may need to offer him blood, and do not stray from ritual. Bael desires ritual. 

I am going now.  Remember what I have said, keep it in your heart.

Will (my familiar spirit) remain with me still?

Spirit (Name Redacted) will remain with you when you call upon him.

(At this point, the realization that this was the end hit me hard.  I became very emotional; tears welled up, and I struggled to control myself.  Lord Azazel saw this, and once again his voice became gentle and comforting.)

I am not leaving you forever, but this is the end of our time together for now.  Keep to your practices, and keep to your training.  Follow training, find teachers.

I will. I love you, Lord Azazel.

I love you too.  You are (here he spoke of my ancestry, confirming something I had some knowledge of from a prior experience.)  You are of our number.

Keep the teachings.

Notes:

I did not expect myself to be so emotionally devastated by the end of the pathworking.  After his presence left the space, I just sat in the circle with tears welling up in my eyes, drained.  Generally, after a ritual, I remain in place as the world goes back to normal around me- it's hard to describe, but gradually I start noticing things like the clock on the wall, the light in the hall, noises coming from appliances; all the things that are muffled by what I assume is the opening of the Veil between worlds.  The Quabalist and Hermetic in me references this as "Paroketh," the Veil of the Temple, but once again, your mileage may vary.  Anyhoo, when the veil closes, the world once again intrudes, becoming "real" again.  

This time, however, the world felt tinny and hollow, and cold.  I sat gazing at nothing for a bit, then resolved to get going.  The sad feeling faded after a bit, only to reappear when I reviewed my notes later.

So, along with my continuing preparations for War, I have two more ritual workings to accomplish in the near future-  a working with my Patron, Duke Amdusias; and an initiation through the Qliphothic Sphere of A'arab Zaraq.  I believe you, dear reader, can expect postings on one or the other in the near future.

I sincerely hope you have enjoyed these series.  Given that invocations and interactions with spirits are intensely personal in nature, and somewhat tailored or customized (?) to the individual, I have still gathered that other practitioners have had similar insights into the personality of the spirits as I have.  Take from this what you will; but I personally enjoy finding commonalities of experience with other magicians.  Perhaps you will too.

Thank you very much for taking this ride with me, and as always, I truly hope your day is a pleasant one.

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 6)

 Monday, October 5, 2020.  On this date, with Lord Azazel's admonishment still on my mind, I prioritized my ritual time and got everything in order well in advance.  When I performed the ritual, I felt so much power flowing through me.  When I reached the final iterations of the invoking words of power, I felt flames bursting from my astral body; and by the time I spoke the last word, I blazed like a torch.  I could see, as I often do, my ritual circle lit up on the dark plain of what I refer to as the "crossroads," that astral meeting place of Gods and men.  Within the circle, I could see myself roiling with the flames, and directly behind me, once again, stood Lord Azazel, with his wings on either side of me.  I could tell he was a bit surprised by my self -conflagration, but also very, very delighted.  He LOVED it.

Why aren't you writing? Write.  (Said in a semi-playful manner.  I smiled and said "good evening!" to the spirit.)

Good evening.  I am glad you have invoked me early, have made it a priority rather than an afterthought.

(I apologized for the lateness of the previous two invocations.)

It does not matter. What matters is your practice. Keep up your practices, keep to the plan.  

Do not neglect the pull-ups; this is the next phase of training.  Also your martial training, you must physically do the exercises.

You have been meditating on war and this is good.  Do not neglect the gods, for they are your protectors and benefactors. Call upon them, offer to them.

Now to the item at hand.  You have a problem, and the problem is (name redacted).

I know this. The problem is also you; but you are being held back by (name redacted).

We will take care of this, and will free you.  (Here he answered a question I had, redacted for privacy.)

You will receive what you want, and it will be for the good.  You are expected to progress as a result.  We will not give you excuses.

(Here I thanked him profusely.)

You are welcome, but do not thank me.  There is another Patron who has made this decision.

I will offer thanks and gratitude to this Patron, whoever he is.

That is well.  Prepare yourself for the event, and give thanks. 

Continue your training, increase the distance of your running by increments. 

Eat well; you have been doing well.  Drink water and wine.  Be strong, be vigilant, and be the warrior most of all.  

I must go now.

Farewell, Lord Azazel!

Farewell.

Notes:

I felt much more confident than before, entering this ritual.  Part of the reason for this new-found confidence was the knowledge that I had fulfilled the terms Lord Azazel had set for me, with no fudging or excuses given.  I had set aside time for the physical exercises, and the meditations were satisfactory. 

As a side note, in my meditations on War I had come to what I believe were satisfactory conclusions.  One, that despite the motivations preceding the act of War, there are always only two participatory factions: The Aggressor and the Defender.  The Aggressor, I concluded, is very nearly always in the wrong, and the Defender is very nearly always in the right.  Defense, if done properly and thoroughly, places the Defender in the place of the Aggressor, and this juxtaposition, in its victorious endstate, is much more to be desired than any advance or conquest by the primary Aggressor.  This has the feel, the "taste," of a universal truth to me.  

That said, history remembers the exploits of the conquering Alexander as being "the Great," rather than "the Invader," or "the Pillager;" and also the genocidal acts of the Israelites are described in glowing terms by the writers of the Old Testament.  On the other hand, the same documents also describe similar aggressive acts by the Assyrians and Persians in a negative light.  Written histories favor those holding the pen, for sure.  

All said, one would do well to prepare for battle on all fronts.  There are human predators who want nothing more than to victimize a soft, pliable target out there EVERYWHERE, so please don't try to deceive yourself that you are immune to violence and rapacity.  Or, to be sure, the vagaries of Nature either.  This material plane isn't covered with pillows and cotton candy, my friend.  

Thank you for reading thus far, and I truly hope your day is a pleasant one.  CX

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 5)

 Monday, September 28, 2020.  On this date, once again, I allowed myself to get caught up in busy work, futzing and fudging around until it was nearly 3 a.m. before I began the ritual.  In retrospect, part of the issue was that I felt a certain amount of guilt over not fulfilling my workout guidelines.  I had missed several of my mile-a-day runs, and had not done all of the prescribed push-ups either.  Why?  I don't know.  I probably had an excuse or two at the time, but in the end, I knew deep down that I could have made time to accomplish all of these goals.  Any piddly excuse I may have had was rendered moot by the realization that I was being a piece of shit, and not fulfilling my discipleship.  

And, on top of all this, I was experiencing a little bit of an existential crisis, wondering what the point of it all was.  Why was I chosen, and to what end? How could I, with all my failings, fulfill any greater purpose, let alone that which I was tasked? With all this in the back of my mind, I made all of the preliminary preparations, and threw myself into the ritual.  Lord Azazel was not happy.

I have come.  Why are you invoking me so late?  (I tried to stammer out an excuse, but he cut me short.)

This is important!  Listen. You need to get going on your training.  You have indeed slacked off, and you know this.

Please move on this, keep moving.  To falter is to fail and failure is death.

(At this point, I bowed my head and vented my frustrations, the questions that I had concerning the purpose of all of this.  I don't remember everything I said, but Lord Azazel waited until I had finished, then spoke in a more kindly tone.)

The purpose is YOU.  You must become the best man, the best person, you can be before the hard times come.  You must survive to carry the knowledge to the generations to come, who will be lost without it; a people destitute of hope, robbed of knowledge.

We will be by your side constantly, and will guide and protect you; and your part, that which you must uphold, is the bringing of knowledge and the teachings of the Gods.

Keep to the Path, do not neglect your practices.

(At this point, I mentioned I was frustrated by my weight, and asked him for his advice on how to lose it more quickly.  His advice was blunt and to the point.)

Move more, eat less.  (there was a pause, then he laughed his short, loud laugh as before.)  We will aid you.  You have the stamina within you to perform all that is necessary, not only to succeed, but to become adept.  Warrior/Magician is your calling. Never give up; call upon us, the Gods, when you falter, and we will not let you fall.

Will you fill me with your power?

Yes, I will. Meditate, and it will come.

(Here he paused, as if listening to something.)  

We must end now.

(Whereas before his presence had always ebbed from me and the the chamber, flowing out; this time, it just disappeared. ZIP.  Shortly thereafter, there was a knock at the door, and I left to deal with the visitor.)

Notes:

I just remembered something that made me smile.  On Day 2, when Lord Azazel gave me the running and push-up regimen, he would not let me go until I had knocked out 10 pushups right there in the circle. Like, "drop and give me 10!!"  Sadly, they were the first push-ups I had done in a long time, but I did them.  Then I laid there in the circle, wondering if anyone else had ever been instructed to do such a thing in ritual.  Is this a pathworking, or a boot camp? 

Another funny thing I remember, when I was just getting started on the running portion, the familiar spirit that Lord Azazel sent me (whose name I will keep private) was acting as my run coach.  As I neared the last quarter mile, he urged me to pick up the pace, and kick it out as fast as I could to the end (which was the stop sign at the end of the street).  My shins were hurting but I did it anyway, just pounding through the pain. As I picked up speed, he yelled encouraging things like "I knew you could do it! Keep going! Just a little more!"  and when I crossed the line, he began to sing the Rush song "Tom Sawyer" to me, "Enter the Warrior, today's Tom Sawyer..." etc.  I thought it was hilarious. I hadn't thought of that song in years.

Anyway.  After this day's ritual, I tightened up and did my runs and exercises, dare I say it... religiously. 

Thank you for reading, O Reader!  I really appreciate it, and truly hope that the remainder of your day is a pleasant one.

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 4)

Monday, September 21, 2020.

On this date, I was caught up in several duties and could not perform the invocation until quite late, around 2 a.m. or so.   As my opportunity drew nearer, the spirit of Azazel surrounded me heavily.  As I walked, it weighed me down, oppressive, not menacing, but urgent.  So urgent.  As I prepared the ritual and entered it, the Behemoth song "Alas, Lord is upon me" came to my mind, as Lord Azazel was truly upon me, crushing me down, giving me the classic "lump in my throat" feeling.  As I spoke the words of the ritual, the feeling dissipated, leaving me with a feeling of vertigo as I crossed the veil.  

(I must warn you now- this was the darkest and saddest of all our interactions thus far.  I was, am, so conflicted about this message that it has obviously taken me a few weeks to post it here.)

I have come to tell you of several things.  Listen and you will know.

The end of days is near.

You will be spared the misery and pain but many others will perish.

You have been called to perform duties for the Master; these duties will require great sacrifice.

Do not be afraid, and do not falter in the performance of these duties.

Can you tell me what these duties will be, Lord Azazel?

You will know them when you are called to them.

Will the duties affect my family, my loved ones?

They may affect your family.  At that time, however, this will not be a great issue.  You will see.

(At this statement, my mind began to spin into conjecture, but I controlled myself and asked:) Will my loved ones die, then?

(Throughout, Lord Azazel spoke in a measured, matter-of-fact tone.  It may seem, from the terseness of his statements, that he was saying these things in an off-hand manner, but I assure you it did not present like that at all.  He took a few seconds before replying.)

Perhaps.  Many will be dead.  You will understand sooner than most.

Your role is Warrior/Priest, Warrior/Magician.  The Gods are always with you; they will guide and comfort you.  Do not be sad, hearken to the voice within you.

(I sat for a while in contemplation, listening to the voice within me.  Then I spoke the words out loud.)

I accept.

Good. You really haven't any choice, (here he laughed, a short, loud sound).

Can you offer me any comfort?

Yes.  You will find happiness. Your lineage will live on, in tales of greatness.

Lord Azazel, in all honesty, the things you are saying frighten me a little.

Of course they frighten you. Who would not be afraid, faced with such a prospect?  You must persevere, hang on, be strong to the end of the hard times. You are my ward, and I will keep you and lift you up.

Lord Azazel, the last time we spoke, I meant to ask you for dietary advice, to supplement my training.

Stay away from legumes.  Stay away from pork; less of beef, more of fowl.  Do not stuff yourself.  Drink water, drink wine.  Breads are fine, but not sugary ones.  

Maintain your fitness.  

Are there any other exercises you recommend?

Pull yourself up.  Do this as well as you can.  Your running is better, keep it up.

Is hiking (an area near me) a good thing as well?

Hike no more than three times a week, but run every day.  Move forward with your running and exercising, do not neglect meditation, no not neglect prayer and ritual. 

Be a magician. Keep your practices.

Do not forget that you are a warrior.

Notes:   

This invocation left me with a feeling of deep sadness.  I wish I could come up with some comforting words, but I really can't find any.  However, I will say this.

On my desk, I keep a fossil of a trilobite, Order Phacopida, suborder Calyminina.  This particular little (9 cm) guy crawled around the oceans of a world which, when he was alive about 450 million years ago, looked completely different than the Earth we live on today.  None of the continents that we live on existed; in fact, much of the land we walk on today was underwater then.  

This weird little alien guy, who looks like a cross between a shrimp and a pillbug, did share one thing in common with human beings at that time.  Life.  He lived, and walked, and ate, and mated, and eventually perished as all living things eventually do.  He, and all of his cousins and distant relatives no longer exist on this planet in any form.  The last of the species went extinct over 250 million years ago. 

As I hold the little guy in my hand, I can see that some of his little back plates are ruffled up.  I wonder if this happened post-mortem, as he rolled along the in the currents of some primordial sea, or if this was something that trilobites could do, as some sort of  ritual of aggression or reproduction.  I will never know, however, because in the natural order of things, they passed from existence millions of years ago, and no one will ever see one of them alive.

All to say, this little guy puts the possibility of a truncated timeline of human existence into sharp perspective.   This is not to say that I want humanity to end, absolutely not.  I want humanity to survive, and thrive, and continue to evolve to the very pinnacle that nature and existence can endure.

However, I will not deceive myself into believing that the age of Men can continue into Eternity.

...On another note- legumes?     

Thank you for reading thus far, and may your day be a pleasant one.

 

My little extinct buddy.

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 3)

On Monday, September 14, 2020, I was travelling out of town and was away from my customary ritual space. My plan was to perform the invocation whe I arrived home, in the same manner as I had previously with Lord Mammon, i.e. in the walk-in closet of my room without all the ritual accoutrements. Lord Azazel was far less pragmatic about the arrangements. "No," he said. "Not here. Not now. Tomorrow." In my obtuse way, I sought clarification. "Lord Azazel, are you asking me to invoke you tomorrow, in my usual ritual space?" "YES!!!" he replied, in the shouty voice he uses when irritated. "Tomorrow! We will speak then." A bit cowed, I cleared up and went to bed. 

The next day, I invoked him anew, properly. Lord Azazel came through as before, quiet and insistent. 

This is the third day. Listen and I will speak. You are training, but I need you to focus your mind and your magical intent toward the goal of warriorhood. 

You are indeed a magician, but the Magician/Warrior is your calling. 

Lord Azazel, will you assist me in my training, and in my magic? 

Yes I will, call upon me and I will assist you. I am always there; WAS always there. 

You need to calm your mind and use your ability to will yourself through adversity. This is not easy, but it is doable. 

Lord Azazel, can you tell me what my purpose is in this life? 

You will find your purpose, but your calling is Magician/Warrior.

(At this, I became pensive, and lifted up my pencil as I thought on his words.  A second or so passed, then he spoke again.)

Listen. I am telling you what you need to do, write.

Take a few minutes a day in praise of the Gods, and a few minutes in meditation on War.  

You cannot avoid War, it is a natural and a constant part of life.  

Life moves and breathes and fights its way through this physical medium constantly.

Do not be fooled into thinking you can escape the inevitability of conflict; this is impossible.  

We need you to be the Warrior and take charge of your life.  TAKE your life and MAKE your Destiny.  Forge your way through obstacles, teach yourself not to falter.

Your strength comes from within you, not from without; the gods will help you to refine this strength but ultimately YOU are the driving force, the motivator.

Please hearken and do what I have asked- it will be of great value to you. 

Yes, Lord Azazel.  I have a question about something I have been thinking of for a while.  What is the "Higher Self," and should I be trying to contact it?

Yes.  Your Higher Self is an entity that exists outside of time, on all planes.  It is You, and it is not.  It was You, and it was not.  Yes, it is very powerful.  It is part of the power within you, it draws upon the same source.  It would behoove you to call upon this entity, and converse.  

Can you tell me its name?

You will know its name when it is time, when it is right.

(Here I asked questions about two spirits I had worked with in the past.  Lord Azazel was very straightforward in his response, reassuring me that the first had my best interests in mind, but "Once again, the problem is you."  He promised to help me with the issues I was having, and I thanked him.  He seemed to find the second question very intriguing, as it concerned the meaning of a cryptic statement the spirit had made.  He told me what he assumed it meant, and urged me to study, meditate and heed the words.)

Lord Azazel, I have noticed that many magicians are using the planetary sigil of Saturn as yours.  It does not seem correct to me.

It is not correct.  I am glad you noted this.

Refine the sigil I have given you, clean it up.  It is good; for invocation and ritual.  (This I did prior to the previous post.  The sigil can be seen there.)

Lord Azazel, do you have any final words?

Make your way in the world, young man.  Our way is Darkness, and our way is Light.  You will find the balance, the crux, and you will work from there.

Move forward. Move.

Notes:

In my scratchy notebook scrawl, this invocation took up 4 pages of notes.  It lasted much longer than the previous, possibly due to my many questions.  Lord Azazel was very patient in answering them, and I appreciated that greatly.  I find that while he does get irritated a bit, it is inefficiency and lack of attention that arouses his ire, not sincere ignorance.  

He called me "young man."  Man, I don't feel young.  Made me smile though.

I'm sure there was something else I wanted to mention. If it occurs, I'll edit it in.

Thank you for reading thus far, and may your day be a pleasant one.

Love Hope and Magic to you all- CX

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (Day 2)

On this date, in preparation for the ritual, I purchased an apple fritter and the customary root beer for the offering. The incense was Sandalwood, and I lit a three-wick candle scented with Frankincense and Myrrh.  Lord Azazel's voice came through, brusque, yet quiet.  

Write. 

You need to get moving on your training and exercises.  You need to eat right. 

Your habits are very bad.  I need you to get yourself in gear and get going.

Lord Azazel, can you please suggest an exercise regimen for me?

Do 10 push-ups 10 times each day.  Lift with your shoulders, any weight, until you cannot.  Run 1 mile each day.

And for my fight training?

Yes, box and kick like I have showed you.  I need you to begin in earnest. Use the knife; swing the knife.  Swing the club.  Shoot the gun.  Get strong so that you may prevail. I need you to do this.

Lord Azazel, may I ask when the events you spoke of before will come to pass?

Three years, more or less.

I will show you a warrior mindset.  You will listen and learn, take notes.  Your mind is in another place; focus and you will learn.

Lord Azazel, will you please give me a sigil that I can use to call upon you?

I will give you two.  The first one is to be used as an amulet of protection, keep it with you always.  The second is a sigil of summoning, to strengthen your invocation.  

Will you take hold of my hand, and draw them for me? 

Yes.  Loosen your hand. 

(If you have never had the experience, what followed will be hard to describe.  Imagine your limbs moving involuntarily, but in a very purposeful manner.  When this happens, I close my eyes to keep the activity out of my headspace.  I'm pretty sure that if I opened them and looked at the drawing in progress, it would immediately fuck up.  The amulet is a private item, but the sigil of summoning is posted below. Use as you see fit.)

Lord Azazel, can you give me a familiar spirit to assist in my training?

Yes.  He is with you. His name is ---------.  Ask for him by name and he will reveal himself.

(The name he spoke was, shall we say, banal as names go, but it was uncommon enough that I repeated it back as a question.  The way I said it was incorrect, and Lord Azazel repeated the correct name back to me three times, impatiently, almost shouting the third time.) 

I want you to work, to try.  I am with you, helping you. Accept my help and move, go. 

I want you to know that I appreciate you.

Lord Azazel, can you please give me peace and reassurance as I continue?

I will give you what you want, and what you need.

Notes-

When Lord Azazel said "like I have showed you," he was referring to my research on fighting and knife techniques.  When the spirits want you to know something, you will find that suddenly your social media feed and personal conversations become filled with references to the subject at hand.  Glutted, more like.  Things you would never have seen before.  For example, have you ever heard of  "Escrima," the Filipino stick and knife fighting martial art?  Not me.  But now I have instructional Escrima videos, tactical shooting videos, jiu-jutsu videos, knife-fighting technique and articles on combat tactics filling my feed. 

As he said, my eating and exercising habits ARE very bad.  I am grateful for his guidance; and dang it, as I write this I realize I didn't ask him for dietary recommendations.  Next time.

A question for those who have experience with Lord Azazel- have you noticed his tendency to impatiently kind of snap at you when you are ditzing off or getting distracted?  Like barking "Focus! Focus! Focus!" at you?  It is a really effective technique for getting your head back in the game, and a very interesting insight into his personality; I am just wondering if others have experienced this.

Anyhoo,  time to wrap up.  Thank you for reading thus far, and I hope your day is a pleasant one.

Lord Azazel Sigil of Summoning.  For Invocation and Ritual Work.

  

Invocation of Azazel- Answering the Call (IDay 1)

Monday, August 31, 2020.

On this date, I once again began preparations to invoke Lord Azazel.  From the magician forum on the Become A Living God (BALG) website [1] (no affiliation), I read that several practitioners found Lord Azazel was partial to sweet food and drink, and in particular enjoyed an offering of root beer.  This information in hand, I set forth an offering of an apple pastry and a full glass of root beer.

Remembering my experience during the previous invocation, I was hoping that Lord Azazel would not instruct me to drink the glass, as I particularly dislike the taste of root beer.  As it turned out, my fears were unfounded (thank goodness.)

Preliminaries completed, I began the ritual proper.

Lord Azazel's voice came through, quieter and more measured than the previous time.  I asked and received permission to write notes during the ceremony.  I then asked if the offerings were acceptable to him, and he answered "Yes. They are acceptable."  Then he waited, as if he expected me to keep asking questions like a pestering child. I felt humbled at this realization, and asked him meekly if he would speak.  He began. He spoke quickly, as before, but when he saw me beginning to bog down he would pause and allow me to finish the thought.  I was truly grateful for this.

Listen and you will be taught all you need to know about the coming apocalypse.  

There will be three signs.  The first will be darkness upon the earth, and the second will be misery upon mankind.  The third will be the opening of the skies and the coming forth of the Gods.

You must stand with the Gods, for none may stand before them.
You are counted among our number.

Focus on exercises that have a martial aspect.  The fist, the club, the knife.  The gun as well.

Lord Azazel, will you assist me in exercising and becoming battle-ready?

Yes. I will show you the best methods of doing both.  I will show them to you, and you must train and practice diligently. Begin now.

You must remain steadfast; do not falter.  I will keep you from harm.

What magical exercises should I perform?

Pray to the Gods, those that you have chosen.  Invoke them daily, as part of magical ritual.

And meditation?

Meditation, yes.  Meditate on War, and become Warlike.  A warrior. Be True.

Move your body and train, I will do the rest.

Lord Azazel, when you said to invoke you seven times, was last week the first time, or do the invocations start today?
(I felt a bit silly asking this, but it was necessary.)

This is Day One.

Lord Azazel, is the sigil that I am currently using adequate, or is there another that you would like me to use in its place?

I will give you a sigil for use as a talisman, to keep with you at all times.  I will also give you a sigil to invoke me.  You will receive them through meditation.  

(At this, I thanked him profusely.  I was kneeling in the circle, and I raised myself up in an attitude of praise, with the palms of my hands forward, just feeling his energy.  At that time, in a mirror across the room, I saw that Lord Azazel's shadow was cast on the wall behind me in the candlelight.  He was standing directly behind me as I knelt, and his wings were on either side of me.  My entire body was covered in chills, from my head to my toes. Chills just washing over me.  It was fucking amazing.  Then, as before, his presence ebbed out and dissipated, like a wave receding from the sand.  The ritual was done.)

Notes:
The message given by Lord Azazel was dark indeed.  There is no denying that fact.  Many of us are receiving the same messages, to prepare for events on this material plane that will be challenging and unpleasant.  However, the inherent resiliency of  Humanity comforts me, and our capacity for spiritual evolution.  It is my firm belief that we will persevere, come what may.  In the event we or our loved ones do perish in some unforeseen calamity, be reassured that the gates of Death (through which all must pass eventually) open on a continuing existence. 
Though I do realize that this information may not placate everyone who is faced with the scariest shit they have ever seen; here's hoping it gives some of us a glimmer of hope.

That said; get out there and smell some goddamned flowers for criminy's sake.  Jump in the water, laugh, cry, eat something delicious, drink something tasty.  Hug more, "motherfuck" less. 
I'll join you, after I hit the gym.

Thank you for reading thus far, and I hope your day is a pleasant one.


Bibliography:
Become a Living God:  https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/