It is difficult to describe, to those who are not Magicians on the path, the immense amount of time our kind spend in magickal thought and exercise. If I am not performing ritual or spellwork, I am thinking about it. Without (too much) hyperbole, it feels like nearly every waking moment is a walking meditation on one or more spiritual subjects. Not that I feel like I'm spinning out of control in obsession, or allowing it to adversely affect my mundane life; but spiritual subjects are constantly on the periphery of my waking thoughts and often the subject of my dreams. I am immersed, and experiences that might seem weird and creepy often feel commonplace to me.
All that to segue into the subject of this post: My initial experience with and acceptance of Lord Amdusias as my patron demon, and my recent re-dedication to him.
I don't remember the date, but our first meeting was, I believe, in mid-2019 or late 2018. I should have written down the particulars at the time, but the events are still as fresh in my mind as the nights they happened.
I am often visited by spirits in the night. Some are welcome, and some are not. Some are spirits I work with or have expressed a wish to work with; and some are naughty buggery entities who wish to feed upon fear and other emotions. These, I must say, go away scolded and disappointed more often than not, and some of the more persistent have been destroyed without mercy. More often than not, these spirits are ghosts... and as a matter of fact, I was visited by two last night, which awoke me in a most unwelcome manner at four in the morning, and which I addressed patiently to good effect. Sisters. Interesting experience... the location I am visiting is rich with history. But I digress- back to the account.
To set the stage- My bed is a large four-poster, and at the foot of my side of the bed stands a large piece of, let's say, musical equipment. As I lay in the dark, I heard three knocks on the equipment. I also sensed a presence immediately, and without even opening my eyes I lay there and grinned for a second, because I knew immediately it was a visitation, and a good one. I don't know how I knew. I opened my eyes and lifted my head toward the direction of the noise, and in the dim light coming from the open door I saw a tall, dark figure. The figure appeared to be wearing a hooded cloak, and it beckoned me toward the door with its left hand before walking out.
I cautiously got out of bed (so as not to wake my wife) and followed the spirit into the living room, where it was waiting for me. I sat down on the edge of the divan, and pulled a chair up in front of me, as a courtesy for the spirit to sit and converse if it wished. The spirit did not wish to sit, but instead stood before me and spoke. His name was Amdusias, he said, and he wished to be my patron. Being a cautious fellow, I requested that he display his sigil before me, and immediately the Goetic sigil of Amdusias glowed blue between us, lighting up from left to right as I remember. We spoke a bit more, and I asked him if he would permit me a few days to come to a decision. He said that was acceptable, and departed.
The next day, I studied the literature on Lord Amdusias. I was not familiar with the spirit at all, so it was an interesting learning experience for me. I don't wish to bore the reader with details, but the old grimoires offer odd, tangential details about the spirit: His avatar is a Unicorn. He can make music play in empty rooms. He can make trees bend, etc. Of course, the best overview of the spirit (as usual) is offered by V.K. Jehannum on his wordpress blog: https://vkjehannum.wordpress.com/2016/09/09/amducius/
Thanks, V.K. You are a Satanic treasure. The next evening, I performed a type of invocation, which I have termed "Drivin' with Satan." While I am at work, driving from point (a) to point (b), I will invoke a spirit within myself in order to converse with them, or invite them to join me in the passenger seat. Am I the only one who does this? I wonder. I would not recommend this to every practitioner, or with every spirit, as from time to time you'll have to pull over and de-immerse, so to speak. In my conversation with Father Satan that evening, I asked him if he would recommend that I accept the offer of Lord Amdusias. He was very enthusiastic about the idea. I told him that I would invoke Lord Amdusias later, and tell him that I had accepted his offer. "Why don't you tell him right now?" Said Lord Satan, "He is here with us."
That statement caught me a little off-guard, as I hadn't even considered, until that moment, that multiple spirits might be participating in or monitoring the interactions of other spirits with humans. "Yes, of course!" I invited Lord Amdusias to join us, and informed him of my intention to accept his offer in formal ritual. After that, both spirits took their leave. As a side note- for some reason, the invoked energies of both spirits prompted a feeling of acute nausea within me, which I overcame. Once again, the new experience caught me a little off guard.
A few days later, I dedicated myself to Lord Amdusias in formal ritual, accepting him as my patron Demon. I sealed the dedication with an offering of blood.
Sadly, I did not interact with Lord Amdusias much after that. I included him in my prayers of gratitude, and thought of him often, but never in ritual or offering. It was not until Lord Azazel admonished me for this shortcoming, that I came before him again. This is a deep failing on my part, and I have apologized greatly for this.
On January 28, in the desert under the full Wolf Moon, I approached Lord Amdusias in ritual and rededicated myself to him. The experience was incredible, cold, the landscape lit bright white, and coyotes screaming and howling all around me. What. The. Literal. Fuck. I still get a chill thinking about it.
Lord Amdusias appeared. He did not appear to me as a unicorn or the previous hooded figure; this time, his appearance was monstrous. His feet and hands were clawed and scaly, and his teeth were exposed, large and sharp. His was the most archetypically "demonic" appearance of any spirit I had seen, and I loved it. He placed his clawed hand on my shoulder, and I clasped it with my hand and leaned my head against it. He spoke, briefly.
I am Amducius, your patron.
I came to you and offered myself, and you accepted.
(Here he spoke of a personal matter, REDACTED)
I am your Patron, and will protect you and keep you. Together we shall do great things.
Do not neglect daily prayers and offerings. Make me an idol. Blue candles are best; this incense is good. (The incense was sandlewood.)
I will bless you more than you can know.
You must teach.
That is all for now.
Hail Lord Amdusias! Hail Patron!
Thank you for your time, O Reader. I hope that you have gained a bit of knowledge, or were at least entertained by the account. Below is a picture of a "travel idol" I have dedicated to Lord Amdusias, which I created from polymer clay (mold it, cook it, it turns into hard plastic. Good stuff!) In another chapter, I'll discuss idolatry in spiritual practice. Highly recommended.
So long, farewell, auf weidersehen, good bye... And as always, I hope your day is a pleasant one.
Edit- I forgot to mention, in my description of the desert ritual, the importance of making sure your instruments are sharp. I brought a shiny new Buck 119 hunting knife for the purpose, thinking that the factory would have the forethought to sharpen their products adequately prior to packaging. Sadly, I was wrong. I spent way too much time essentially scratching myself with a blunt instrument to produce an adequate offering. It was... unpleasant.
DISCLAIMER: I do not advocate self-harm in any form; in fact, I am staunchly averse to any such practice. However, I support HYGIENIC medical, religious and/or aesthetic practices which may involve safe, minimal blood loss, as long as the consenting individual's life or well-being is never in danger. Under the same guidelines, I also support a modicum of "kink" in practice, if that is your thing. I always sterilize my equipment and clean the incision/lance site thoroughly, antiseptic, band aids, the whole 9 yards. I leave the reader's personal choices to the reader's discretion.
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| Travel Idol of Lord Amdusias. Hand-crafted of Sculpey™ by yours truly, with love. |
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